If only it weren't you
by Novelist by Heart
Summary: Cloud and Tifa have finally settled down with Denzel and Marlene in the city of Edge. But can life for these two ever run smoothly? This is a story about love/pain, family, memories and familiar places.
1. Chapter 0  Prologue

_A/N: Well here we go, my first fanfic. I really got my imagination working for this when I was reading all the other fanfics for Cloud and Tifa, so it's all thanks to you guys!  
>It's been way too many years since I last play FFVII and I've forgotten a lot about Advent Children, so please excuse any silly discrepencies.<br>I hope you enjoy it!_

**Disclaimer - **I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Square does. I just own this tale of mine.

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><p><span>If Only It Weren't You<span>

_Chapter 0: Prologue_

It's been a year since the disease, Geostigma, had been washed away from the planet and the threat of Sephiroth was cleared from the minds of the people and our heroes for a second time.  
>Peace and new beginnings followed after the existence of all living beings were pushed to the brink of extinction and a lot of changes had taken place that year.<p>

The organisation 'Shin-Ra' had once again resurfaced but this time it had returned for the people. Of course this revival met with resistance from many as most did not believe they were capable of being a benefit to the world after all the damage they had done.  
>It would probably take a number of years for Shin-Ra to regain the trust and reputation they had so easily taken for granted and crushed, but determined to repay it's crimes to the people they had hurt and the pain inflicted onto the world, they persevered.<p>

Alongside the preservation work for the remnants of Midgar, the construction of the replacement city Edge had begun again. This was one of the many efforts that Shin-Ra had been connected to and were at the forefront of in hopes of displaying their honest intentions.  
>Whilst not all the darkness and grime of the former city's shady businesses and less than respectable characters had disappeared, this new city was bathed in light and this bought hope. These changes and the destruction of life stream pumps had allowed the area to begin its long overdue healing, with which things thought to be so natural and common to those outside of the wasted city, it was a privilege and godsend to those that were once imprisoned. Things such as clean air running through the city, access to the rest of the world and the growth of plants and trees.<p>

Finally the once rebel group AVALANCHE, our heroes, had been declared and recognised as just that, heroes. They were embedded in the hearts and minds of everyone, a courageous group who stood up for the world even if the world didn't support them. They had many fans and followers, young boys who dreamed of adventure and heroism that their role models had displayed and men who wished to prove their worth. This would be a lasting effect for decades to come.

And what of our champions? Well most of them had gone they're separate ways, returning to their respective homes, since saving the world didn't seem to be on the agenda for the foreseeable future.

Cid had gone back to Rocket town to continue in the pursuit of his dream. His wish had come true when he and the rest of the group were able go into space during the fight to bring down Sephiroth and Jenova all those years ago. It was magnificent yet what was there for him to aspire to now? With all the chaos finally over, he had been made head of the space program that was once scrapped. The jobs that he would do ranged from fixing satellites to discovery of new material and life on planets. It wasn't as adventurous as saving the world but it gave him meaning as long as he could be up there and as long Shera, the only woman in his life, would continue to stand by him.

Nanaki had returned to Cosmo Canyon to learn more of his people and more importantly his father. Once filled with anger, hatred and disgust for the great warrior, he now felt grief, guilt and shame at his ignorance; although the pain of these emotions had softened since the discovery of his father's heroics and sacrifice to present day. Nevertheless he was determined and now being a more crucial time for him since the wise old Bugahagen was nearing the end of his life.

Barret wished to return to Corel to provide his support to the people, help with the rebuilding and in the hope of redeeming himself in the eyes of friends and neighbours.

Vincent had decided to join Barret in his journey as he believed he needed to change his life. Tired of being shrouded in darkness he desired a stable life and maybe the place to begin would be Corel, only time would tell.

With this decision to go back home came the decision to leave Marlene behind. She protested vehemently but it wasn't a safe journey back home, not yet. He didn't know how the locals would react to his return and if this wasn't a problem, the reconstruction of the town was. At a time of such uncertainty and work ahead of him, he wouldn't be able to take care of and support Marlene; leaving in the early morning when she hadn't even woken up and to return at a time when she would be well asleep and sometimes not come home at all. And what of her education? No no, he wouldn't have it, he knew all too well to leave Marlene in the hands of Tifa whom he completely trusts and Cloud...who was't so bad, although parting with her tore his heart. Marlene tried to be strong but cried at this decision however both of them knew they could always see each other whenever, if they wished it. They would never be permanently apart.

So Yuffie, Denzel, Marlene and Cloud and Tifa had returned to Edge to begin life anew. Yuffie didn't feel like going back home and thought she would have more fun with some of her friends around her. Whilst Tifa had offered her to live with them she couldn't accept it, saying there wasn't enough space and didn't want to get in their way, finding a place nearby instead. The truth was that although Yuffie wanted to be near them, she knew she'd be driven crazy if she LIVED with them. She loved the kids with all her heart but being with the kids constantly and having to endure the single entity that was Cloud and Tifa...no she really didn't want that, though the appeal of spying on them and causing 'moments' did cross her mind.

Cloud and Tifa were the biggest development. Now that there was nothing to fear, there was nothing to keep Cloud away and he had begun to change. Still being the silent, stoic man for the most part, his heart had been set free from it's cage and was able to love. He felt love for the place he could finally call home, a love for those two children he had become so accustomed to and a most special love for the only woman that owned his heart.

And Tifa had welcomed this change. For a long time she kept her heart bottled up, unable to tell him what she felt as he left to join SOLDIER, then again during the first time they went out to save the world. She so very much wanted to tell him how she felt and what she wanted but the impending crisis reaffirmed her decision to hold back until time was right. However every time she saw the gap close and the familiarity increase between Cloud and Aerith, she suddenly wasn't so sure about her plans. When she saw this, it hurt.

After the first crisis they began to live together, she felt happy and even relieved to know he would now be with her but that had been shattered when Geostigma came along with the ensuing battle, causing the disappearance of her beloved once again. She had only begun to show her affection, letting him know how she felt but then he was snatched away. She remembered how painful it was to watch him leave for a third time, it was liked she had been killed.

But now that was all going to change now.

And she was right, it did change. Tifa had opened up the bar again but now simply as '7th Heaven' rather than attaching her name to it, for now it belonged to Cloud, Denzel and Marlene as well. Cloud began the delivery service again along with Tifa by his side. The kids resumed their studies at school and as each day passed their expressions eased and became cheerful. They felt happiness when they were together with their family, becoming attached to the adults in their life and truly regarding them as 'Mum and Dad'.

Little time has passed when Cloud and Tifa believed it was right. Them being in Edge and taking care of children was right, them working for both the 7th heaven bar and the delivery service was right and the two of them being together eternally was right. So right that they announced their plans of marriage to their friends, who had immediately dropped their work and activities to be present for the joyous occasion. That day they laughed about how Cloud looked up there on the alter, still spikey and very nervous and looking on in awe at how beautiful Tifa was as she gracefully joined him. They sang and danced, honouring their friends that are no longer with them and finally applauding with love in their eyes for a couple of heroes who belong together, their friends. They were finally bound together, now Mr and Mrs Strife. It was perfect.

**_A lot of changes took place that year..._**

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!" she tried to sound angry, to get her point across as much as her voice allowed all the while being as quiet as she could, she didn't want the children to know they had been fighting, again. They had been married for 6 months but their love was already being tested.

Cloud and Tifa stood there in the darkness of the bar, sometime around 3 AM. He remained motionless trying to imagine the anger on her face but he was mistaken, anger may have been what he heard but it was a different emotion that filled her.

"Tifa." he quietly uttered, confused, exhausted and with a little bit of sorrow for he knew how this latest argument would turn out; They would fight, the kids would probably be woken feeling scared that their parent are fighting and in end the two of them wouldn't even make up, they would just forget about fighting after blowing off some steam whilst the anger remained, due to those apologetic words that were never spoken.

"Tifa I know you're angry but keep your voice down, what if the child-" he was interrupted by a pair of shadows that invaded the light on the first floor. He looked up to find two crouched figures, a look of concern in their eyes and fear in their voice as they called out "Mum, Dad?"

Tifa's head snapped around behind her to look at the source of those familiar voices, a look of horror on her face when she realised they were watching them fight. Marlene was able to take a clear look at Tifa's face due to the light in the first floor hall and she knew exactly which expression she wore "Mum, why are you cry-"

"IT'S NOTHING" Tifa shouted back in response to the words that Marlene began, in hopes to cut her off in time to hide her feeble state, but quickly composed herself as she realised she had raised her voice to a scared and quivering Marlene "It's nothing sweetie, nothing at all".

Following Tifa, Cloud quickly tried to catch the young boy's attention, to keep him distracted from the unfortunate event and to calm his mind "Hey Denzel, I'm pretty sure you should be in bed right about now?" he feigned a cool manner. The boy had been staring at Tifa and Marlene as if in a trance but snapped out of it when he heard Cloud talking to him. "Dad" he whispered, trying not to be fooled by Cloud's composure.

The young father watched as the two at the top of the steps carefully shifted their slightly watered eyes from Cloud and toward Tifa, who tried ever so hard to keep her eyes from meeting theirs, she looked straight ahead but not at them because if she did she would surely have broken down. She bit down on her bottom lip, hard.

At this brief moment of silence, Cloud desperately thought of something to say to stop the kids from bursting in tears "I'm sorry for getting back so late, did I wake you up?", they now had their attention on Cloud again as they slowly nodded in response. "I feel bad. I left the back door open again. It's a bad habit and I know how much your Mum hates that, I'm sorry sweetheart" he ended his explanation, those last three words emphasised and completely sincere.

Tifa still staring straight and biting down on her lip, let out a small whimper when she heard Cloud apologise like that but she wouldn't let it sway her, not tonight. She put on the best smile she could manage at such short notice as she looked up to her children " your Dad is right guys, it just worries me if the doors aren't closed properly. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you two...I know you're both tired from your long day at school so just try to relax and get some sleep, hmm?" They didn't believe but they complied with her request.

It was a feeble attempt to cover their lies, the two at the bar knew that and soon enough the two on the floor above came to know as well, as they huddled next to each other at the farthest wall from the bar, desperately covering their ears from the painful screams.

**_...Although not all of them were good ones._**

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><p><em><span>AN: I know, quite a foreboding start but it gets better I promise. I didn't intend it to be like this when I imagined it, but since it's a prologue it's setting the scene and besides there's gotta be some drama.  
>I've already got a couple more chapters written up, but you know how it is, spell checking and a lot of it doesn't make sense at this point!<br>So let me know what you think, I'll hopefully have the next chapters up soon and be well on my way writing the next part of the story.  
><em>


	2. Chapter 1 At Home

_Chapter 1: At Home _

-6 Months Later-

She heard the chirping of the birds whisking her away from her ever need sleep, she felt exhausted. Life had been a lot harder now that Cloud had left them yet again, yet she persevered in hope to live without heartbreak for once.

Yuffie had been a big help as she would watch the kids from time to time keeping them preoccupied by showing off her ninja techniques (namely her 'Materia be gone' technique), taking them out to go to the arcades or a movie and even by picking the two up from school on most days. It was a good thing Yuffie moved to Edge, she even started up a doujou near the 7th heaven.

On the weekends the young siblings would insist they help their mother around the house with all the things they could attend to, leaving Tifa to prepare for the peak hours of the bar. Denzel and Marlene would even help cleans dishes and wipe tables once they finished house chores on the first floor, receiving praise and compliments from the customers for being so helpful to their mother; Tifa however wasn't too fond of them working whilst the customers were still around. She didn't mind them being around the friendly ones and regulars, but this was a bar so there were also those that weren't too friendly. It was those types that she sought to keep her children away from. Whilst she always preferred their help with cleaning the bar up with her when it closed, she would give a playful expression to show that although they ignored her wish, she so very appreciated their effort.

The young mother would even close the bar for 3 – 4 days occasionally to spend time with her family at the park, helping the kids catch up with homework and with the things they didn't understand, having Yuffie over for dinner while she told them about the latest fool who tried to come onto her in the doujou and just even relaxing at home with a big bowl of popcorn, watching something they could all agree on.

But even with the help she got from Yuffie, raising two kids and running a bar on top of that wasn't an easy task, something that was evident as she looked at her...interesting appearance in the mirror. _'My hair' _she thought as she ran her fingers through her shortened hair, which she had had cut to give herself a bit of a change after Cloud left,_ 'it's standing up like a certain unreliable blonde jerk I can't seem to beat the tar out of'_ she growled at the thought of him giving her that cocky grin he seemed to have perfected, it irritated her but smirked as she envisioned triumphantly slapping his front teeth out. That always made her feel much better. A moment passed and she sighed "Why am I imaging him ticking me off then me getting back at him. I'm like a one women comedy show and a bad one at that" she thought out loud. Now dragging her feet, a quick glance at the clock before she was in front of the closet to get dressed for her routinely, joyless, loveless and mundane life...she didn't have a lot to look forward to.

Tifa felt a little guilty at that thought as the joy and love in her life were her dear children, if they hadn't been there from that night onwards, she didn't think she'd function as well as she did. A warm smile was placed upon her lips as she closed her eyes and thought _'The children. MY dear, sweet child-'_ "..."

"KIDS! GET OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" she ran down the hall to make sure Denzel and Marlene were up, dressed, fed, received their lunch and on their way to school all within twenty minutes, a challenging feat even for a saviour of the world.

She burst into the room "Marlene, Denzel!" but they weren't there. _'Ok so they're awake, but do they have time to eat and have their lunch made'_ her thoughts bouncing around in her head. She ran down to the bar where she was greeted by both Denzel and Marlene sitting at a table, eating a bowl of cereal each and talking when they noticed Tifa, hair sticking out in multiple directions, bare foot, still in her t-shirt and pyjamas, panting for air as she panicked around the house.

"Morning" they called cheerfully.

She stood still blinking at the two very competent children. She sunk onto one of the barstool, letting out a sigh of relief which showed in her face and thought _'I'm getting too old for this...'_

"I'm not old! I'm still only 25!" she exclaimed suddenly and then let her forehead fall onto bar in defeat. The whole time Tifa battled out her worries in her head, the two very silent children at the table in the corner looked at each other and then back at her, bursting out in laughter.

"Mum...you're...funny" the 8 year old girl managed to speak out with laughter.

"And...fun...to...watch" the 9 year old boy gasped for air.

She blushed "Well how was I supposed to know we had time to spare? I mean last night was really busy and I got to sleep very late, so I overslept this morning and, and..." she went on and on, then finally lowered her head "I'm sorry for for being a bad mother" she said quietly. At this they both frowned at her, letting her know she made them upset for saying such a thing "Mum, there's nothing bad about you, you're the greatest!" Marlene protested and Denzel joined in with the encouragement "Yea! You locked up the bar earlier than usual to help us with any homework, helped us pack our bags with everything we needed and then went downstairs to clean up the bar. You're awesome Tifa! Oops, er, I mean Mum" Denzel quickly replied before Tifa could notice what he had said.

"But what about your lunches, It's the first term of the new semester. I can't let you both go unprepared" Tifa worried.

"Mum, mum, calm down first and take deep breaths. Don't you remember? After you helped us with our homework and packing, you went back to the kitchen to make our lunch" Marlene proudly reminded her.

She could now finally take a breather, all she had to do now was drop them off to the school which only took 10 minutes, they had 15...they'd have to run a little is all.

"heh, where did you two learn to become so able?" she grinned.

"Weeell we are your children" she heard them reply as a matter of fact, so coolly and confident. She thought it was almost too confident, like a certain blonde porcupine that always managed to get away from her, it annoyed her _'Thinking of him twice already in one morning, I haven't sounded this pathetic in a while'._

"Hmm, that's quite cheeky. I'm confident but that's pushing normal confidence. Where did you pick that up? It wasn't from me" she closed her eyes trying to hide her irritation, her voice sounding inquisitive.

They frowned at her words once again. Whilst Tifa may not have asked directly, the two of them knew that she was talking about Cloud and in a somewhat hateful manner. Cloud had left again and was living away from them, that was true and the young ones knew this but he hadn't disappeared from their lives. Actually it was the opposite from before when he lived with them and worked long shifts everyday, unable to spend time or keep any time free for them. Now he made time for them whenever he had deliveries for Edge and luckily this was fairly often. And as he wasn't at home any more there were many things both Denzel and Marlene would speak to him about, whilst he would eagerly listen to and laugh along with them. The bond with their adoptive father was better than ever, yet not at the level of Tifa admittedly. So when Tifa would say something like this about Cloud, they felt they needed to protect their him.

"Mum" Denzel began, speaking softly as he put down his spoon in the puddle of milk remaining in the bowl. "Cloud is still here for us..." he trailed off.

"Wh-what are you bringing him up for?" she stiffened up hearing his name, thinking this was the third time she'd been reminded of him. She admitted it was true that he was with them more often and how he kept them close to make up for his absence and also if she had just heard Denzel call his father by his name, _'Ah I need to fix that about him'_ she drifted off.

"Dad loves us, he's always happy to see us and we see him nearly all the time now!" Marlene said snapping Tifa out of her thoughts.

"You don't know when he will decide he's tired of us and stops coming ba-" she began to protest stubbornly when she was interrupted by Marlene, who put as much emphasis as she could when she said "He Still loves you!".

*****Bang*

"That's enough!" hands hitting down on the bar, controlling her voice to keep from yelling at the poor girl, but applying enough pressure to make the two of them understand the conversation was over. The children look stunned, they had been prepared protest some more as many of their previous attempt to bring the family back together resulted in this way, but instead pulled their gaze away from her as they became disheartened.

Tifa was angry, _'Cloud!'_ she fumed _'He doesn't even think of me let alone care for or love me!'_.

She thought back to the visits from Cloud where he would come to get the children; the two of them would meet again after that awful night but at the sight Tifa he would quickly turn to ignore her! It made her seethe with anger...although he only did that because she had done the same thing to him earlier. _'But that wasn't the point!'_ she thought finally calming down.

A few moments of silence had passed in the bar when she broke from her spell.

"Ahhh, what time is it?" she frantically remembered the children had still yet to go to school and they were short on time.

"But you're not even ready yet" Marlene complained, becoming cheerful again.

"Don't worry, don't worry" Tifa chanted as she grabbed the closest pair of jeans she could find, pulling them over her pyjamas, grabbing her jacket and a cap to hide her flailing hair "See? I'm ready" and they were out of the door in seconds.

After dashing for the school entrance, they made it in time. Their school was a small one, a product of the rehabilitation of Edge; being a small institution there weren't many teachers and children for that matter and so it was decided all the children would be taught together, regardless of their ages. This gave a small peace of mind to Tifa as she knew her kids were shy of others and felt most comfortable when next to each other. Again she thought _'Probably that spiky good-for-nothing rubbing off on them again'_.

"Alright. You have all your books, paper, pencils and lunch?" she asked ticking items off her mental check list.

"Yup" they nodded in unison.

"Ok, you two have fun and watch out for each other. I'll come for you after school" she said sending them off. As she finished speaking they came close to give her a tight hug, as if to acknowledge her effort and love for them. A little surprised but quickly understanding Tifa returned their warmth and smiled "I love you too". They began to blush, surprised at how she'd seen through the meaning of their embrace.

As they went off, Marlene called out to her first "Bye mum", followed by a quick "Bye Tifa" from Denzel. As he ran off he heard Tifa call back to him in a rather motherly tone "DEN-ZEL!".

He froze in his tracks, slowly turning around to see Tifa with her arms crossed, leaning on one leg and an eyebrow raised. He gulped from hearing the tapping of Tifa's boot on the ground, looking around trying his best to avoid eye contact "I, er...I mean bye mum" he said sheepishly.

Satisfied she stood normally with a big grin "Bye son" and turned around with a barely audible snicker while Denzel remained there, his embarrassment flaring higher as Marlene was giggling and poking him in the arm.

Tifa wanted to keep her family knit close to her; she loved the two of them dearly and wanted proof of their connection with each other since one of their family kept running away. She was close to Marlene from an early age and also become attached to Denzel fairly quickly, so she had become motherly and protective over them. They had no problems calling her 'Mum' when they were younger and Marlene still prefers calling Tifa that, it's just Denzel who became more secluded and shy as he grew older and began feeling a little more embarrassed each time he called her mum.

"It's happening again" she spoke to herself out loud whilst walking back to the 7th heaven, "That resemblance". She imagined Cloud once more with a smirk, blowing her a kiss. She furiously waved her vivid imagination away.

When she returned to the bar, Tifa saw some of the regulars waiting for the place to be opened up.

"Hey guys" she called out to get there attention "Isn't it a little early to start drinking? I mean I don't mind but you guys sure can drink a lot, that can't be healthy" she laughed.

The group of men, all clothed the same and seemed to be around the ages of 40 – 45, turned around to greet the familiar voice. "What if we said we didn't come here for the drinks?" one of the men asked as he pushed back his hardened safety hat to show his goofy eyes brows wiggling.

She looked at the group of men who were eagerly and almost impatiently waiting to get to their usual seats and then spoke "Well if you aren't here for the drinks then I think I'll take the rest of the day off" she spoke as innocently possible.

Alarm rose in the faces of the men, including the one who spoke earlier "Wait! Wait I was just kidding you know? We really, really just came for a drink..or six" he tried to change her mind knowing she was the type to call a bluff.

She started laughing out loud "Come in boys, I won't close up on you right now but I will be closing up early today" she spoke as they took their hard hats off, placing them on the tables while Tifa got to her place behind the bar.

"Thanks sweetie we definitely need it today, it was a tough day at the construction site" another man said giving her a tired but warm smile.

"Hey don't mention it, you guys are like fathers and uncles to me so you're always welcome, even if it's only for a short while sometimes" she smiled as she filled their usual drinks.

"We all think you as our little girl too, ever since you opened this place up" the last of the group of men said brightly.

"Thanks...that means a lot to me" she smiled.

Her customers weren't only these fatherly types who had hard days of work ahead of them and dropped by to enjoy a cold drink. Since Tifa was now a parent, she had children to feed and she most certainly had a difficult time with this. There were so many things that they would nag her to make for them. Pasta, noodles, steak, chicken wraps; the dessert list was even longer including pies, cakes, ice cream, jelly and custard. With this new repertoire of knowledge and skill in the kitchen, she thought to make meals for families to eat. It was a good idea as it really took off for her and by doing so she became a lot more familiar with with the people around town.

As Tifa smiled at the men who sat at a table together, drinking and laughing cheerfully as they talked to one another, she thought about what she had in her life. There were her two bright and lively children, her close and caring (if not nosy) friend Yuffie and people from around the town who cared for her.

She felt loved. She felt as if she could put that night behind her but was she certain of a life without him?


	3. Chapter 2 On The Road

_Chapter 2: On The Road_

The mountains had looked like one big blur to him at he pushed fenrir to go faster, each rev echoing with a loud rumble and the torque beneath him that looked for a chance to throw him off.

It was a love-hate relationship he possessed with that vehicle of his; he loved that it filled him with adrenaline when it stormed the land like lightning where ever he went. But he hated that it would break down on him so often, a thought that was now occupying his mind while he struggled to keep his grasp on the unstable beast, as it began to choke and stutter.

It was no use. Although he was able to slow the motorcycle down in the end he was flung off head first, curling himself to reduce the damage as he rolled forward a few times and sliding to a halt, digging up the firm soil as he tried to stop. He got up slowly to prevent worsening his injuries when he felt the stinging on his knees and forearms as they took the brunt of the fall, wiping away the blood when he noticed it dripping. Eyes wide with disbelief and both hands on his head, Cloud gave a shout "Ah damn! What am I gonna do now!" walking over to the junk metal that was sprawled on the ground, oil leaking everywhere.

He had other vehicles that he would have to use for his business to flourish. He owned a small aircraft that was given to him by Cid for quickly moving to different continents, a light raft to traverse the shallow waters and a truck to carry heavy loads. Also not forgetting his trusty chocobo but he couldn't make the poor thing run him around everywhere for his deliveries, that would fall under animal abuse and he loved the big, yellow bird too much to do that to it. Even with all those modes of transport at his disposal he would always prefer fenrir because it made him feel alive each time he rode it, a sense of freedom and also the fact that it's a relic from his life changing struggle against Sephiroth, which by the end of he was able to change from that tormented shell of a man to what he is today.

Cloud walked up to his motorcycle and stood it up, pushing it towards his next destination as he felt a dull throb took place in his once stinging arms, _'Well no question about it now, I'm gonna have to walk to Gongaga. I'll get myself checked out too while I'm there, don't know how long I'll last if this keeps up' _he thought as he looked at all the gashes and brushes he had accumulated because of that bike.

Life was never the same for Cloud after he left his home and family. He now wandered from one hotel to the next as he lived to work, always on the move because he no longer had a place to go back to or someone to spend free time with.

Leaving with anger clouding his judgement, he didn't think about what how his actions and departure would effect those he left behind; although only after some lonely months did he realise his regret for what he did, now unable to go back to stay even if he wanted to.

Cloud couldn't understand it; he had been a recluse for more than a decade, he should had been use to being alone. And yet within one short year his attitude had changed. He longed for that homely aura he felt when he was at the bar, waking up to the noise his children had been making because they wanted to go to the park and for that one woman who would always be patiently waiting to greet him after his long day.

He could still remember her presence when he closed his eyes, opening the door to the bar ever so slowly to stop the creaking of the hinges. And there she was, her slender form standing behind the bar, her beautiful amber eyes focusing on the glass she was drying with her ever so tender hands. She would look up and simply say "Welcome back" with her radiant and loving voice which would continue to ring in his ears. Cloud let out a soft sigh _'Ah whenever I saw that from her, my heart would start beating faster. Only she could make that happen'_ he thought forgetting about the pain in his arms.

Then after a moment he sighed once more, this time a heavy and depressing one let loose _'But then she gradually stopped with that as I took on more work. I couldn't feel that warmth or see that love she had for me'_, his thoughts then returning to that night and his anger stirred _'But how could she say all __that to me? Whatever I did, I did for her and the children; it made me happy to work for them. Yet she didn't think so, what did she want from me? This time I didn't do anything wrong, SHE pushed ME away!'._ But as those irresponsible thoughts came to mind, he could feel his guilt weigh heavy on his conscience, it was always there with him ready to remind him he wasn't completely innocent when he tried to deny his part in the events of that painful night. He trudged on as he felt his arms and legs become heavier, no longer protected by his blissful memories.

It would be another half an hour before Cloud would arrive in Gongaga, he was feeling exhausted and sweating from head to toe in the scorching heat of midday. "Argh! I can't walk any more" he said as he was heavily panting for air and dropped to the floor. The cool ground felt so good that he didn't want to move from that spot for anything. He soon changed his mind when a large pick up truck had drove past him towards Gongaga...

"Hey thanks a lot for the lift" Cloud expressed his sincere gratitude to the man driving back to his home town. "It's no biggie, that's what this big ol truck is for" the man spoke heartily in return, "But what where you doing out there? Hardly anyone comes to Gongaga, it's quite remote and has nothing of special interest" he asked making small talk.

"I run my own transport service, there's a delivery I have to make in Gongaga, Cloud replied as his arm leaned on the door with the window fully open, the wind cooling the burns he had on his left arm.

"And now I'm delivering you to your destination, hey maybe I should charge ya?" The man laughed at his own joke.

"Hmm, I guess you could" his attention had shifted to the boys sitting in the open back area of the pick up truck with his motorcycle; he smiled when he saw their look of amazement at the beefy vehicle they sat next to and the wonder it brought to their face.

The man driving gave a quick glance to see Cloud's focus on something behind them, looking in the rear view mirror. "That's one expensive looking bike, shall I get them to stop touching it?"

"Huh? No it's ok" Cloud brought his attention back to the driver, "Are they your kids?" he asked

"Yup the little tykes are mine. I'm not home a lot of the time and the missus gets real annoyed at me. So I thought I'd bring them along with me to work at the gold saucer, it keeps the boys and my wife happy and I save myself from one big headache" he chuckled looking back at them then concentrated on driving once more , "Got any of your own?" he questioned his far off passenger.

_'He's just like me...' _Cloud thought to himself, _'But it's different for him. I don't know if he does extra work like I do but he is still with his family. Even though I spend as much time as I can when I'm with them in Edge, its not the same as when I was at home and I doubt it ever will be. Where did I go wrong?'_.  
>He leaned back into the chair, looking at a photograph sitting on the dashboard of a woman standing in front of a house with the the same two boys who were sitting in the back and with an solemn expression on his face he replied "...Yeah".<p>

After they arrived in Gongaga Cloud thanked the man once more, saying goodbye to the two boys and after he dropped off his motorcycle to be repaired, he found the local clinic to get himself checked out. The small building was completely white and it looked out of place with the rustic aesthetic of the rest of the village, which made him think this was a new edition to the town since it had burned down 6 – 7 years ago.

That was something that still messed with his mind, his memories mixed with Zack's. For most of the memories he had, he could discern those which were his but things were still a blur such as when he believed Nibelheim to have burned down when it was actually Gongaga, though he hoped that time would let him forget.

He opened the door to the clinic to find a nurse behind the the counter, who was fidgeting with clipboard when she noticed him and as Cloud turned around to close the door behind him, she greeted him _"Welcome Home Cloud"_.

His heart skipped a beat, spinning his body back around to face her "Wh-what did you just say" he asked in a daze.

She looked at him, thinking he was a little strange "I, uh, said welcome".

He rubbed his face with one hand to clear his mind "I'm sorry you just reminded me of someone" he apologised rubbing the back of his head, embarrassed at his outburst. The woman did indeed look to be the same height and sounded similar, but she was clearly not Tifa. Amused at the thought, he grinned saying "I initially came here to get a few burns tended too. but now I think you'll have to check me for hallucinations as well".

She gave him a giggle, a little blush rising in her face "Well it looks like you have me mistaken for someone else I'm flattered. Looking at you, I'm guessing your lady is a pretty one" she winked at him.

His mind fluttered "Yea she's beautiful". Her silhouette etched into his mind, he dreamt of her large pretty eyes, her soft luscious lips, her long velvet like hair and her tender loving touch.

He snapped out of his day dream when a wicked thought came to mind. As instructed by his plan, he changed his joyful expression to a wistful one as if he remembered something awful "I mean she _was..._".

Her face dropped as the young nurse hesitated to ask, a little frightened at what his reply would be "What...what happened to her?".

He instantly lifted his face and smirked "Now her face is always scrunched up and breaths fire whenever I get back late" he laughed, unable to hold back from seeing her shock.

A few moments after she realised she had been tricked, she laughed too saying "Oh that's terrible! Maybe I should call you're wife and tell her about her lovely expressions" she mused.

"Haha, no please don't. I'm scared of what she'd do to me, she's a martial artist and has very hard boots...Huh? How did you know I'm married?" Cloud looked perplexed and a little impressed.

"Intuition sweetie. I got a hunch when you had that goofy look come over you're otherwise handsome face!" she laughed at him.

"Eh? ah...Is that so?" he dropped his head, face burning up.

"Shall we get you checked up then? Or would you like to talk some more" Said a middle aged man with white hair, peering at Cloud whilst tapping his foot to gain their attention.

"Ah Doctor, yes the patient says he has burns" the nurse said straightening up and sounding professional.

"Hmm, ok. But no more flirting with the staff" He scolded Cloud "And you stay here" he spoke authoritatively to the nurse.

She covered her mouth with a hand as she giggled and replied "Yes daddy".

Cloud's face showed understanding "Ah! No, no, you've got it all wrong, I'm married" he defended.

"Uh huh, and?" the doctor showed his skepticism "Let's go boy!" he said firmly.

Twenty minutes later he coming out of the room, looking as if he got one heck of a lecture free of charge.

"Hmm, it seems like you got chewed out in there" she said playfully.

"Yea he just didn't believe me and I think I got out with more pain than when I went in" he said softly rubbing his bandaged arms. "I don't think I'll ever get on with doctors" he referred back to his unfortunate past.

Smiling she said "Daddy may have his reservation but I believe you. What I saw in that smile a little while ago told me she's the only one for you. A woman's intuition, it's always right!" she spoke proudly.

"You think so" Cloud knew she was the only one for him but he had blown his chance.

"I know so" she smiled, "Just speak to her, I'm sure she's waiting for you". She said in earnest.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind" he said still a little unsure but appreciated her words.

Paying the doctor's fee, he went to fetch fenrir from the mechanics, ready to move onto the the area for work.

Pushing the motorcycle out of Gongaga, Cloud stopped to notice a dirt path a little off the town. He wondered what was over there as he put the motorcycle onto it's stand and walked over to find a cemetery. _'That's right! This is Zack's home town' _he thought as he searched for the tombstone labelled 'Zack Fair'. Saddened when he wasn't able to find it, he huddled over near the other graves for a few moments.  
>Returning to his feet, Cloud looked up "It's been a long time since I've spoken to you Zack" he started. He let out a deep breath "I don't know what to do any more man, I'm lost. For the first few months on the road I didn't feel this emptiness but now everything reminds of the kids, my home and Tifa. I honestly wanted to be there 'cause I truly loved her but this time she pushed me away, as if she no longer loved me..." the sudden realisation of this possibility was an unwelcome shock to him.<br>Recollecting his thoughts he spoke again "Or was it my fault? And was I wrong to leave? What could I have done differently!" his voice fizzling out, dropping his gaze as he quietly said "This is wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this...". He once more looked into that endless blue sky, his eyes unflinching "What should I do! Give me a sign man!" he demanded from the heavens.

*Fart*

Cloud slowly turned his upper body around to follow the sound. There he saw a raggedy old man past the bushes scratch his behind and fall back to sleep.  
>He turned his body forward again and shouted "Give me a better sign!".<br>He quickly looked at the old man and then skywards once more "And I thought we were friends!" grunting as he stomped off toward fenrir, leaving behind a small mound of soil in front of a large rock on which had been etched **'Zack Fair, First class SOLDIER. Saviour & Friend.'**


End file.
